Rock Star Ex Read online

  In his dreams, Eve was dressed in the black lace lingerie from the video shoot. She was aggressive, pulling his shirt off and rolling his pants down his hips. Her warm mouth enveloped the head of his cock and she sucked lightly as she licked the length of it. When he couldn’t take anymore he rolled on top of her and kissed her, his hand cupping the smooth softness of her breast. But…it wasn’t Eve’s breast. The one in his hand was overly large and stiff, with stretched out nipples.

  “Put it in me, baby,” she said and grabbing his shaft and guiding it between her legs.

  That’s when it registered that she had blonde hair and oversized lips. He jerked back in shock and banged his head on the roof of his bunk. “What the hell!”

  Giovanna lay beneath him, naked. He was naked as well but couldn’t remember how that had happened. Her blonde hair fanned out on his pillow and she gave him that sick pouty look as she said, “Don’t stop, baby…I want you right now.”

  He leapt out of the bunk, pulling the sheet along with him to cover himself, and wrapped it around his hips twice. The curtain to Eve’s bunk was still closed and no one else seemed to be up. He leaned into his bunk and said in a low voice, “You need to leave right now.”

  “Why?” she exclaimed, too loudly. “What did I do wrong? You were liking it.” She rolled forward on the mattress and tried to snatch at his sheet with her long-nailed fingers. They ended up in a tug-of-war with Devon still trying quietly to make her leave, but the attention only exhilarated her.

  It was then that Eve saw him as she came out of the bathroom with a blonde slut in his bunk, grasping at the only thing covering his nakedness. She paled as she took in the scene and then streaked by him, down the steps and away from the bus.

  ****

  At least the anger and the tears helped to warm her, Eve thought as she slowed to a walk somewhere behind the Pepsi Center. How could she have been so stupid? Now she was just another one of his sluts. She’d known this assignment never could have ended well. There was just too much history between her and Devon. Too much pain.

  In the end she decided it was her fault for not listening to her gut. She’d known the danger and now she had to pay the price. She continued to walk in the crisp morning air. It was okay, she would be okay, she decided. She couldn’t even regret the sex. It had been good. She had more than liked it. But so what if they had great sex? That didn’t mean he was a decent human being. What she did regret was her entertainment of romantic notions between her and Devon. She regretted allowing herself to think he could be a decent human being. At least now she could come to terms with who he really was and stop kidding herself.

  She continued to walk and walk, relying on the rhythm of her feet to heal her soul. After an hour she came to a conclusion. Instead of thinking of it as yet another mistake she decided to think of it as lesson number two. There would be no lesson number three.

  ****

  The concert in Denver had gone smoothly. Afterwards they had again boarded the bus, where they would sleep, for the twelve-hour ride to Dallas.

  He hadn’t seen Eve come back from her walk. And there hadn’t been time or opportunity yesterday to get her alone to talk. Clayton had whisked them away for most of the day for some interviews with the local media and autograph session for the fans. Kate had come with them but Eve had stayed behind. When they’d returned she was nowhere to be found. There’d barely been time for some rehearsal and dinner before they went into the Pepsi Center. It wasn’t until late at night after the concert that they’d crossed paths as they each had gotten into their bunks to sleep.

  He’d found out that Giovanna had made her way onto the roadies’ bus and been traveling with them. That was why she had appeared in Phoenix and Denver. He had a brief conversation with the roadie in charge of security and a cab had appeared shortly after to take her to the airport. The roadie had rolled his eyes when he told Devon later that she had been very unhappy and made quite a scene, but he’d made sure she packed her bag and left.

  The hurt look in Eve’s eyes was still killing him. He could still see her emerging from the bathroom and taking in the scene. But it was also all so unfair. She was thinking the worst of him without even giving him the opportunity to explain. But why would she listen, he asked himself. I left her a long time ago without a word, he answered himself. How fucking long will I have to pay for that?

  He wondered.

  Of course now, yes now, he could think of a million different ways he could have handled things. He’d been young back then. Young and dumb. His frustration built with each passing minute and he barely slept during the long ride to Dallas.

  ****

  The band would be playing at the American Airlines Center tomorrow night and the night after. Eve was relieved to have the rest of the day free and to be in a hotel room instead of on the bus sleeping right below Devon.

  After they’d all checked out their suite and claimed their rooms Kate had called everyone into the living room.

  “I have an announcement,” she said. “The results are in. I totaled everything this morning and have determined who the winner of the lap-rating contest is like I promised I would do as soon as we arrived in Dallas.”

  They guys all perked up and listened. Devon’s eyes slid to Eve where she sat in one of the dining room chairs and then back to Kate.

  “You all received excellent activity with your photos, by the way. I just wanted to say that first. However, with a total of thirty-four thousand forty seven likes, nine hundred and twenty six comments and nine hundred and six shares, the winner by a mile is Devon!”

  Tommy, Shane and Drew groaned humorously.

  “It’s just because he’s new,” Drew protested.

  “Yeah,” Tommy agreed. “Beginner’s luck.”

  “When do we eat? I’m starved,” Shane said.

  They all got up and started moving towards the door, except for Devon. “Let’s check out the pool after we eat,” Tommy said.

  Eve could feel him looking at her. She flicked her gaze his way and their eyes met. She abruptly stood as well and started towards the door after Kate, not wanting to be left alone with him in the room. She guessed she wouldn’t be getting the peaceful afternoon she’d hoped for. After he’d left her alone yesterday she’d hoped it would continue.

  “Eve, can I talk to you for a minute?” Devon put a hand on her arm to hold her up.

  She jerked it away and glared at him. “No.”

  Kate had paused at the door and turned back to see what was going on. Devon saw her eyes widen. “I’m going to go hang out with Clayton,” she said quickly and disappeared.

  Eve turned her back on him again and was walking toward the door. The sight of it made his temper flare. His patience was at an end. There was a time for patience and then there came a time when you had to take the direct approach. He caught her in two strides, turned her around and threw her over his shoulder.

  “What are you doing? Let go of me!”

  He ignored her and walked up the stairs to his room where he shut the door and set her down. Then he stood in front of the door, blocking her escape with his body.

  “We need to talk,” he said.

  “No we don’t,” she retorted. “Everything is clear to me now. You’re just another asshole rocker who wants to get laid. I’m sure you have a girl in every town. Two, probably.”

  His temper flared again at her words. If there was one thing he hated, it was being put into a stereotype. “You think I’ve been running around the country just so I can sleep with a bunch of sluts? Are you kidding me? You have no idea how hard I have worked since the day I left. No idea of the stress and all the struggle I’ve gone through to get to where I am.” His voice was raised but he didn’t care now, as she was going to listen to him once and for all. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “God, Eve, I’ve thought of no other girl but you since that day.”

  “Me? Really? Right. That’s what all guys do, they completely ignore the
girl they are thinking about.” Her voice broke on the last word and he could see tears forming in her eyes. The sight of it pulled at his heart. How many times had he made her cry? Why the hell had he waited so long to explain? He knew why and it was time to tell her.

  “Eve…that’s what I’ve been wanting to explain. Will you let me? I really want you to know what happened after I left, why you never heard from me.” He’d never been good with words. He was much better with music, and his hands, but it was time now for him to come clean.

  She looked up at him, clearly torn, and stalked away to the other side of the room by the window. “You won’t let me leave anyway. Fine, go ahead.” She wiped at her eyes. Tears were falling indeed. He sighed.

  “Look, first of all, that girl on the bus was a crazy groupie. Absolutely nothing happened. I had security get rid of her. She was on the roadies’ bus. They put her in a taxi to the airport yesterday.”

  He could tell that she didn’t believe him but she said nothing.

  “Just to set the record straight, after I left I did call you. I called a few times. I got your roommate a couple of times but you were never in.”

  Her lips parted and her brow furrowed. “I never got any messages.”

  “I didn’t leave any. I told your roommate I would call you back. But after a few times, I stopped calling, that is true.”

  “She never even told me you called,” said Eve.

  “That’s apparent,” Devon replied.

  “But why didn’t you leave a message with her?”

  He looked down at the ground for a moment. “You have to understand what a stressful time in my life that was. I didn’t leave any because I imagined you were out with your new college friends partying, or in the library studying. And there I was, on a crappy bus, playing at some of the worst dives and sleeping in seedy motels and not knowing if I was going to make it. I could see my future as one long string of crappy gigs, as that’s what happens with a lot of guys. I just…felt like…what could you possibly want with me after meeting college guys?” He finished miserably. Now that he was saying it out loud for the first time, it sounded pretty pathetic.

  “You could have written,” she said stubbornly. “You never even gave me a chance to decide. You decided for me that it was over and I never got to say anything.” She was blazing, positively blazing as she ranted at him, and beautiful.

  She had a point. He paced to the side and stopped by the dresser. “I did try to write,” he admitted. “But three months had already gone by. You know how I am. I suck with words. Lyrics, yes, I can do that … but a whole long letter, pouring out my real feelings to you? Telling you how miserable I was, and how much I missed you? After three months? There was no way to put all of that down on paper.”

  “So you just quit?” her voice rose up at the end in the high pitch of disbelief.

  “I just…I felt that you would be better off without me then,” he said lamely. There was pain and anger in her expression, but also a softening. He felt his hope increase and took a few steps closer to her as he spoke gently. “I mean, how would we have been together? What would I have done? Stayed there and watched you go to college and work some little job? Should I have made you leave college and follow me around from place to place? That wouldn’t have been any kind of life for you. I mean, look at what’s already happened. In the short time you’ve been with us you’ve become a sex symbol for the band.”

  “And you’re not?” she retorted. “You run around on stage without your shirt off and get stalked and groped by groupies all the time and that doesn’t make you a sex symbol as well?”

  His head jerked in surprise. “You’re right. I guess I am. I never really thought about it.”

  “And does that make you a bad person? Do you feel like it’s changed who you are?”

  He thought about it for a minute. “No,” he said, realizing she was right about that too.

  “Well then, I don’t understand why you worry about that for me. That you might not like it, I get. I don’t like those girls fawning all over you either,” she said.

  “You don’t?” he took another step forward. For some reason that made him happy. “Well, just for the record, I don’t really like it either.”

  The beginnings of a smile pulled her lips up. “As for following you from place to place…this is the best job I’ve ever had. What do think I want to do? Sit around my house and raise some babies? Become a soccer mom?”

  “Well, yeah. Don’t you?” he said in disbelief.

  She shook her head. “Not right now. I’m trying to build my business. Maybe … someday. Right now I want to live my life.”

  He was right in front of her now and lifted a finger to stroke her cheek. She didn’t move away. “Someday?”

  She shrugged. “Sure. It’s not impossible. All kinds of celebrities do it all the time.”

  She had another point. “True.” He pulled her into his embrace and her arms wrapped around his waist. “Why didn’t I talk to you about all this five years ago?” he groaned.

  “Because you were an idiot.”

  He laughed, “Yes, you’re right again. But I won’t be anymore. Eve, I have thought about you every single day since I left. I didn’t think I was worthy of you back then and I have worked my ass off trying to become the man we both thought I would be. I will always be glad that fate brought you back to me even if it’s just to have the chance to tell you I still love you.”

  Tears trailed down her cheeks, and he could see that her heart was opening again to him, listening to him.

  “I won’t leave you again. Just say you’ll forgive me and let me make up for all the lost time,” he pleaded. His eyes were getting misty too.

  “You stupid, stupid man. Yes, I’ll forgive you. I’ve been doing everything I can to fight it all this time, but it won’t go away. I still love you, too.”

  He lowered his head and gently kissed her lips, one of many more to come. For a long, long time.

  Epilogue

  The plane touched down at LAX and Eve squeezed Devon’s hand, her engagement ring sparkling on her finger. A happy smile lit her face that they were finally back home. He squeezed her hand back and smiled in return, both of them gazing out the window as the plane taxied to the gate.

  He had made good on his word. Since they’d cleared the air between them, it was as though they had never been apart. Every second of spare time they’d gotten during the tour had been spent together and they’d had a grand time exploring the various cities, creating new memories.

  By the time Arsenal reached New York, for their last US show, their album had gone from gold to platinum to triple platinum and several social media posts had gone viral. They’d played to sold-out stadiums and more than one other artist had approached Eve and Kate about enlisting their services.

  Clayton had set up a new contract with Eve and Kate for the European tour. From New York they’d all flown to Europe, playing shows in Barcelona, Rome, Vienna, Berlin, London and too many other cities to name. By the end of the European tour, the album reached double diamond status and Eve and Kate had more work than they could handle. They already had interviews lined up for the next day so they could expand the company.

  It was mind-blowing how different her life was now compared to when she’d left several months ago. A whole new and exciting future lay before her.

  Eve turned away from the window to see people getting off the plane and Devon watching her.

  “What were you daydreaming about?” he asked.

  “How completely awesome this tour has been.”

  “Oh yeah? Which part was your favorite? Seeing the Vatican? Or standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower?” His eyes roamed her face. “Or maybe it was when I proposed to you on the beach in Barcelona.”

  “None of those. I was thinking of something else.” Not that anything could surpass his proposal on the beach, but there was something else that stuck in her mind she would never forget.

  Even t
hough their separation had been long and painful, she had a shred of gratitude for the lessons they both had learned. Devon knew now to speak his feelings, to communicate, instead of stuffing them away. Underneath his rocker exterior he was deeper and more sensitive than she had ever known. And she knew that her temper made her hasty and sometimes got in the way of seeing all his complexity. Even though it would probably never be perfect, the lessons would serve them well from now on. Neither of them would let a disastrous communication error happen again.

  “What could be better than that?”

  “The day you made me talk to you.” She knew he would be surprised and it showed on his face.

  “Why that day?”

  “Because it was the day I understood you never stopped loving me.”

  His hand rose to cup her cheek. “You are the only woman I’ve ever loved. You know that now, right?”

  How she had filled the hole left by him all that time, she would never know. His love was a warm ember that glowed inside her, filling her with its light and warmth.

  Her eyes misted. “Yes, I know, and I feel the same way about you. Probably more.”

  He smiled, “We’ll see about that.”

  Not caring who was around, she leaned close to press her lips to his, all the happiness and joy at being together again pouring through. After all the time they’d lost already, she wasn’t about to waste a single second.

  The End

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